I feel so fortunate, so blessed, so content. And for me, that's a really big deal!
I've had a myriad of limitations, illnesses, frustrations, beliefs and challenges in life that ,thus far, have made feeling glad, feeling pleasure, illusive and difficult for me. But, I feel it now, and I'm like one reborn.
The feeling is fantastic. It's a blend of gratitude and wonder and fulfillment. Aren't those lofty things? Yes, they are. They're miraculous and God-given. The feeling takes me by surprise at times, and I miss it when it isn't present. I can't recall when I've ever been so glad. It's like I'm surrounded with blessings, internal and external, too numerous to count!
I can only give examples. This morning, I'm still recovering from a cold that hit me hard last week. But, I feel quite a bit better than I did, I even enjoyed my EmergenC powder in hot water in a tea cup. I'm playing background music softly, a wonderful instrumental CD called Prayer Songs, given to me by some friends a few years back.
The wonders never cease.I found a website that teaches languages for free: LiveMocha.com and began a French course with them, today. I've always, always wanted to learn French, but lacked the kind of opportunity suited to me. Not anymore. It's free! I love it already.
This morning I ate chicken salad on a toasted croissant. The chicken salad was done excellently by me, not mushy, not dry. Exactly how I like it). With my petite breakfast sandwich, I had a cup of my favorite Colombian coffee. Then I contributed to WorldMagBlog, probably the best and only blog of it's kind. I made myself a tall Pelligrino and pomegranate juice with lime, and am now typing away at this blog, doing what I love. It feels fantastic.
I know enjoyment is a gift. I haven't always felt this way and have had trouble believing anyone- ever- felt this way. But, then I read Ecclesiastes -an old testament book of the Bible. In it, Solomon says that the ability to enjoy your work and the fruits of your labor is a gift from God. Well!! You'd better believe I asked for it! I knew I lacked it and so asked God for it for me, for my husband and for my children. I know the drudgery of not having that ability. Life is quite different when you've been given the ability to enjoy. Of course, it didn't come immediately, there was a definite process and progression. But, I have it now.
I'm painting almost daily.
I love painting and enjoy learning and practicing and creating. My easel is currently in my dining room, not too far from my washer and dryer, so I can paint, wash my hands, and tend to the laundry: another job I truly enjoy. (I have a friend who knows: that is also a miracle.)
I could go on and on. God is that good. But, I'll stop in order to tie this up. I know I don't deserve any of this abundant goodness lavished on me. I know it's all gift after gift. I've prayed for you, readers of my blog, that God would give you the gift of enjoyment. Try reading Ecclesiastes. It may not seem very uplifting at first, but it discusses futility and the blessing of enjoyment.
I will say, there was some 'positioning' and obeying I had to do along the way. I had to say no to quite a few things. But, how worth it. I feel God all around me and in me. I'm glad of heart. What intense and deep elation. May you receive it as well.