True confession

I've been a coward lately. I'm not proud of this, and so I figure that recognizing it is step one to getting over it.
I haven't produced art work in a few weeks after having picked up my pencils again after many months. Why?

I allowed myself to get shut down by criticism. I was experimenting with a new style and shared it while in a tentative, thus vulnerable state. One or two people gave me feed back I didn't like and I allowed myself to become deflated by it.

It wasn't until recently, when my dear artistic nephew and I were discussing the progression of Realism>Impressionism>Expressionism>Fauvism> Abstract art, that I realized just how cowardly I was being.

I love the impressionists for breaking away from the rigid Salon system in Paris who could only appreciate realism as "real" art. To the end, Mary Cassatt refused a cash prize equivalent to a Life Achievement Award, because she didn't care to encourage the arrogance of professional critics whom all the Impressionists deemed as less qualified than the artist. The Impressionists put out their new work, and were almost instantly and universally despised. But, did they allow these metaphorically thrown tomatoes deter them? No. They redoubled their determination to create the needed revolution. I admire them. Granted, they had each other... There is a lot to be said about having a supportive tribe.

I doubly love the expressionists, who broke even further from the Salon system, and even from their innovative friends. Daring to produce less beautiful work, they opted to express themselves with bolder strokes, color choices to emote more feeling. It's deeply satisfying to see their work because it's emotional. Creative. In fact, I was brought to tears when I saw Vincent Van Gogh's disturbingly beautiful Starry Night Over the Rhone at the Musée d'Orsay. He made me cry! Real tears. It wasn't so much his subject matter. It was the FEELING in it. I felt his pain, poor tortured soul. That painting is a symphony, and artistic, expressionistic triumph. I LOVE it. (The poster's and prints of this painting do not make me cry.)

I remember my first break into expressionism. What a JOY! Painting became more fun, the more expressive I allowed it to be. The more license I took, the more fun I had. So fun! I got to use colors I felt rather than saw with only my eyes. Eschewing realism even further than the impressionists, the expressionists brought tremendous feeling to their work.

But for some artists, even Expressionism was too confining. The were the Fauvists! (Did I just hear golden trumpets blast?). Henri Matisse is one of my artistic heroes. I LOVE his courageous work. It's SO fun!! The colors are quixotic, the lines are thick. He took all sorts of liberties. I can only imagine the nausea of the Salon judges his work would have evoked. But, I GET it. I really do. I have arrived at that sort of clean, bold, lined, robust expression by doing a painting of one of my a paintings. That other gIant step away from the original subject makes even more room for imagination. I can picture the flowers, his gold fish. Orange. I simply love his happy work.

Finally, someone somewhere said, "Hell with it! I don't want to be confined by a subject at all. I'm just going to paint!" Yes, you guessed it. Abstract art was born. Abstract artists will sometimes use just what they want from a subject, and move on to use whatever they please from wherever they please. There are no confines. Media, canvas, objects, glue, paint smeared across the work..there were no rules about anything... This was JAZZ.

My point in this jaunt through history is that these people were COURAGEOUS! I can't imagine them cowering because someone wrinkled their nose at their work.

I'm ashamed. These are my heroes, and yet this is how I've behaved?

My recent jaunt through history with my nephew was like a square slap.

Evelyn. Don't be such a chicken! These artists would never have produced the work they did if they were cowardly. Don't let the critics stifle you. Let them have their opinion. Enjoy the dissonance of a little dissension!

So. Critics and fans be blessed! I am going to soldier on, remember my heroes and Thank God, honestly that you've taken the time to consider my work and respond to it however you will. It evoked something from you, even if only a "Yuck!".
Critics, thank you. You truly just helped me develop a thicker skin.

I know nobody set out to hurt me. My response was my response. Friends, continue to be honest. I don't feel so alone now that I've considered my predecessors. I may or may not ever reach their heights, but I will enjoy their company as I handle both the positive and the negative input.

I love you all. Especially those who read this through to the end!

Work 91 was just too fun!!

I truly enjoyed playing with this work. It changed often with my whim and ultimately became something quintessentially me! Some of these 'littles' need to be amplified, but for now, I will continue designing future paintings. Cheers!

Work 90, a Creative Romp. Breaking from Realism today.

I wanted to exercise my imagination a bit more. This was a fun design. My daughter wants me to make a painting of it for her. I think I will when I get back to the studio. It was refreshing to break from Realism.. Think I'll do that a bit more.

After a long delay! Work 89

It's hard to pick up the pencils/paints after such a long pause. Special thanks to Emily Gray Barry, Candis Kelly Braatz, Annell Bach, Julie Vician, Maureen Claffy Kunze, Carol Anne Duffy, Rinda Smith, KarenO, and my nephew Caleb.
This rusty effort is lovingly dedicated to you. Onward and Upward! (Or whatever Mighty Mouse said) :-)
The second photo I posted shows the drawing afterI blended using a colorless blender.

Work 88

Holly 8x8 colored pencil on paper
Drawn on a down day in Chicago.

Work #87

Wrote 1,500 new words today, and rewrote about 500 old ones. I can't believe how long it took. I edit as I write or it probably wouldn't take as long. Still, I love the process of finding the right words and phrasing.
After writing, I decompressed, made dinner and noticed that all of my pencils we're twiddling their thumbs at me. :-)
At least I completed another work.

Passel of Kiwi, 5x7, colored pencil on paper.

Work 86

I spent last week in a writer's seminar and have decided to have a go at novel writing. I've always believed I'd write one someday, and they day is here: in my mid 40's. Being a late bloomer really isn't a problem until you compare yourself to early bloomers. So, I will refrain from that dangerous practice. Today, I wrote and edited 1000 words.

But, I do not wish to abandon my artistic quests, so here is another small work. Only God knows if I will be able to balance the two. I surely want to!

Here is:
A Passel of Sweet Peas, 5x7, colored pencil on paper.

This week

I am participating in a writer's seminar all this week, so I may not post any art. But, I'll be back!

Work #85

I do love Horizon paintings, but I've never done one with a moon, curiously enough. I like this one, and it was a good study for future paintings.

Ocean Horizon with Full Moon, 9x12, acrylic on canvas.

Day 84.

I'm back painting today after a few sick days! I completed this today and am learning one definition of a tortured artist: not loving and accepting a work for what it is, and how it's brought another good meditation into this world, -vs- what technical mistakes are noticed after varnishing! Or, what the work isn't. Of course the torture ends with the realization that one's notice of mistakes make creating this painting another learning opportunity for the next one. So I humbly submit, for your viewing pleasure this painting. Thanks for checking in.

Bowl of Green Apples, 9x13, acrylic on canvas.

Day 83, Painting Daily

Here you will be able to see the honing process and the critical observation that, to me, it needed more. I've added the three new apples, and will complete them Monday, God willing. Today, I have to go out. Will carry pencils and draw tomorrow. Thanks for checking in! All the best.

Day 82, Painting Daily

This is going to take one more sitting, at least. But it's coming along. I'm hoping for inspiration to hit. So far, it's a bit perfunctory, I'm afraid. But, as the saying goes: You have to visit the muse, not wait for it to visit you. (don't know to whom I should attribute that)

And Day 81, cont.

I found the subject of pea pods irresistible today and had to do this highly resolved drawing. Look for it to become an oil painting, soon. Love the addition of Koh-i-noor woodless colored pencils to my arsenal of art tools! They are fantastic!

Pea Pods, 5x7, colored pencil on paper.

Day 81, Painting a Day

This is Day 1 of what will most likely be a 2 day painting.
I believe Henri Matisse was able to achieve such simplicity and accuracy of line by painting, as I am, from another work (drawing or painting). I intend to resolve some of my works of the past 80 days into simplified, artsy paintings. This one has been begging for such treatment!

Day 80, Painting a Day

This 9x12 painting took 2 days to complete. Three sittings.

The hydrangea were given to me by Dylan,our daughter's boyfriend, on the day that we met. We used them as a centerpiece at the dinner table that night, and they have lasted remarkably long.

I've watched the flowers age so beautifully and attempted to capture them while their colors peaked.

So here is
Dylan's Hydrangeas, 9x12, Acrylic on Canvas

Day 79, Painting a Day.

I'm resuming my daily work with a twist this time. I'm working a little bigger, but not pressuring myself to complete the work in one day... At least for a few weeks. I will be doing several sittings per painting and posting work in progress. You might find the process interesting. I don't wish to rush art. An artistic pace is important, too. I do commit to working daily, just not having to complete the work in one day.
Thanks for walking with me on this journey.

Daily Painting one week hiatus

Hello friends. I really struggled with this decision, but I need to focus on a fairly involved project that's due in a week, that is fairly labor intensive.

It is art related, so that counts, right?
:-)

Pray for us, a lot going on here. Thanks.

Day 78, painting a Day

Toadstool neighborhood, 5x7, colored pencil on paper

Day 77, Painting a Day

Rooster 2, 8x8, colored pencil on paper

Day 76, Painting a Day

Rooster, 8x8, colored pencil on paper